Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize