He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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