she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
In the future we'll all be gay
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
actually, I'm a sock model
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
if you like me you must not know who I am
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
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