i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?