Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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