So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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