The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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