I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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