Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
