You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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