Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
