i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
