If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
