why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We need a shit load of segways right now
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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