I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Couch. On fire.
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