you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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