i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
