Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
