dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
