i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating