his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same