Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?

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  (609): Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do? http://tfl.nu/p111
  Replies (110) Good night (2620) Bad night (1864) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers

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  (757): my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers http://tfl.nu/1x7e
  Replies (24) Good night (636) Bad night (5470) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?

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  (703): just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life? http://tfl.nu/fbf0
  Replies (43) Good night (4012) Bad night (1498) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.

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  (760): The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper. http://tfl.nu/pbch
  Replies (11) Good night (895) Bad night (6384) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.

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  (510): On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible. http://tfl.nu/nz5p
  Replies (32) Good night (8355) Bad night (1174) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?

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  (913): high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life? http://tfl.nu/lv3r
  Replies (10) Good night (3581) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.

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  (203): Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad. http://tfl.nu/yb7a
  Replies (11) Good night (1224) Bad night (3201) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.

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  (778): Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night. http://tfl.nu/vt5l
  Replies (8) Good night (3719) Bad night (1509) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved

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  (+61): They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved http://tfl.nu/or7i
  Replies (5) Good night (1844) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.

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  (805): Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency. http://tfl.nu/lpqm
  Replies (10) Good night (1624) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though

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  (704): I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though http://tfl.nu/2ftm
  Replies (2) Good night (787) Bad night (1078)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy

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  (815): My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy http://tfl.nu/f1hz
  Replies (10) Good night (1435) Bad night (421)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight

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  (404): I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight http://tfl.nu/qgh6
  Replies (4) Good night (287) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you

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  (916): BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you http://tfl.nu/atej
  Replies (1) Good night (778) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.

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  (816): Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on. http://tfl.nu/u2o1
  Replies (13) Good night (1729) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt

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