I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?