We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?