I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Less talking, more tequila
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.