You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Randomize