holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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