Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
