good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
