Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
