I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize