You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
