Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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