I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
