She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
