is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You left your underwear on the fireplace
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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