how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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