Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
BRING THE BAGELS
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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