The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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