he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
