If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
