at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
