there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize