My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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