I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize