So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
