I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize