I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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