Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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