:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
