Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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