My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
