He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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