well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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