before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
