just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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