Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
