That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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