Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize