Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
