I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
