you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize