Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
