Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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