i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
