Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
