I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
