I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
