To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
